Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize