so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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