Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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