It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
