I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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