Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
