i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
