How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
