Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize