so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
