he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
