I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
