There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
