dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
