id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Semen is not good for contacts.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
