so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
