ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
