walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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