i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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