remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
it's great music for shaving your balls
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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