You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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