just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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