"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize