Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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