Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
