Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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