I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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