well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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