I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I want to be your penis for a week.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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