god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
