Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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