Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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