I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
