Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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