you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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