HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
