Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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