i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
