Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
worst night to have a conscience
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize