he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
wow bdsm is so cute
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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