yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
whose ass print is on the piano?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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