a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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