i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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