I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
