I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
