Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i think my cat just said my name.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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