Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
