You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
