i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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