Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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