So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
