you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
