You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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