i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
