my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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