Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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