please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
