My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
