Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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