There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
