If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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