dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
