Can Purell be used as lube?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
