Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
