i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He passed out mid-signature
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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