At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
