wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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