Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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