yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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