help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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