Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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