I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
