I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
