He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
