Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i've created a new STD.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
