Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize