I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize