i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
