No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
